It is 2:30AMish and The Barn Hockey Bar (on Ogden near Madison - walking distance to the UC) has had last call. We went there after catching the last 45 minutes of Obama's speech.
As I am walking outside to meet an Uber (and avoid the neighborhood grifters my Republican Cousin continues talking to - the guy referred to me as "the whitest black guy I have ever met") to drive 5 minutes or so to Tri-Taylor where I parked my car where Republican Cousin is staying, some older dude walks in with all his convention lanyards trying to get his phone to work. The guy follows me outside still trying to get his phone to work.
Car shows up, I yell to Republican Cousin let's go (as the big windows are open at the bar). Dude asks if we are going downtown near the Radisson and can he catch a ride. I say, no we are not going downtown, but if want to negotiate with the Uber driver, if he is willing, to take you after he drops us off nearby and cut out the "Silicon Valley billionaire middlemen," have at it. I open the front door, make the same proposition to the driver.
I walk around the car, get in back. Republican Cousin comes out of bar. Dude gets in the front. Ok, driver and dude agreed on something. ThePAMan is hooking people up to make some money and for people to get where they need to go.
Dude starts telling us that his Uber app was "stuck" and he was told to walk to the Church's Chicken (at Ogden and Jackson, near the expressway) to try and get a cab or for the app to work, whatever, it made zero sense to me.
I said, um, where you from? Because even with all the cops camped out a few blocks away, you should not be walking around here if you do not know where you are going at this hour.
He says, I am from Ann Arbor.
So I immediately say, Harbaugh cheated you know.
Yeah, but we won the championship and they cannot take that away from us.
I say, they took away the Fab 5 banner.
Yeah, but we won, and they cannot take that away from us.
I then ask, why are you here? He says, I work in the Biden White House and just joined the campaign a couple of days ago.
Republican Cousin says, you know, you look a little familiar. What is your name?
I am Gene Sperling. Republican Cousin starts gesticulating at me, pointing at this guy, mouthing whatever I cannot understand. I have zero clue what he is trying to say to me. I shrug and start moving my thumbs trying to get Republican Cousin to text me.
I say, yeah, but Michigan cheated and they are going to take that banner away like the Fab 5 [I know full well this is not going to happen].
He says, do not care. It was the "greatest sports year of my life." Meanwhile Republican Cousin is still gesticulating at me.
We are pulling up to where we were going. I finally say, "You know, Illinois basketball owns Michigan."
He says, I do not care, it was greatest sports year of my life. We won. They cannot take that away.
We get out of the car. I say, safe travels, hope the rest of the convention and the campaign goes well for you.
Walking in the door, Republican Cousin goes, Do you know who that is?
No, some guy who does not give a shit that Michigan cheated like most Michigan fucking fans.
Gene Sperling is Biden's economics guy. He is the Democratic economic guru. He's a big fucking deal in Washington. And you just spent 5 minutes giving him shit about Michigan sports.
Eh. Fuck Michigan.
So we go inside. Republican Cousin starts looking for leftovers. I pour couple of bourbons for a nightcap. Republican Cousin is stuffing his face and saying, I cannot believe you just gave Gene Sperling shit about Michigan sports for 5 minutes.
While Republican Cousin is eating, I look up this guy on The Google. Dude is the Senior Advisor to the President of the United States since 2021. Worked for Clinton and Obama admins.
Of course, went to Minnesota, Yale, and Penn and NOT Michigan. Dude is a Walmart Wolverine! I don't feel like I wasted my time dissing Michigan sports....
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