I'm tired from staying up to watch the World Series....What a train wreck getting this one together was.
Special shoutout to Tempo and Judy for their technical assistance.
Illinois vs. Rutgers [NO ONE RANKED....GOLDEN AGE!]
Date/Time Saturday, Nov. 1 | 11 a.m. CT [BOOOOOOOOO]
Location Champaign, Illinois (Gies Memorial Stadium)
Tickets Sold Out
TV NBC
Radio Busey Bank Illini Sports Network | Listen | SiriusXM, SXM App [NO STATION NUMBER THIS WEEK - EVEN THE SID IS LAZY THIS WEEK]
CHAMPAIGN, Ill. – Illinois returns home to face Rutgers in its second of back-to-back games before the team's second bye week. Continuing the proud 100+-year Illinois tradition of the Dads Association, which began in 1920, Saturday's game will be marked as Dads Day, honoring the dads of all Fighting Illini. [HOPEFULLY GREG SCIANO WILL NOT BE THE ILLINI'S DADDY!]
Illinois (5-3, 2-3 Big Ten) and Rutgers (4-4, 1-4 Big Ten) will meet for the 10th time in program history. The Illini are 6-3 all-time against Rutgers, with wins in four of the last five meetings. [YAY US!]
Saturday's game is Illinois' fourth straight sellout. The Illini sold out four straight games for the first time since the 2008 season. [SAD!]
Paul Burmeister (play-by-play), Jason Garrett (analyst), and Zora Stephenson (reporter) [NO CLUE IF SHE IS HOT....SOMEONE ELSE CAN GOGGLE HER AND POST IT HERE. BIG10THEPAMAN IS TOO LAZY] have the television broadcast on NBC. The Busey Bank Illini Sports Network has the radio call with Brian Barnhart (play-by-play), Carey Davis (analyst), and Michael Martin (sideline).
Actually had to go to a second webpage for the game notes....
ILLINOIS HOSTS DADS DAY MATCHUP AGAINST RUTGERS
• Illinois returns home to face Rutgers in its second of back-to-back games before the team's second bye week.
• Continuing the proud 100+-year Illinois tradition of the Dads Association, which began in 1920, Saturday's game will be marked as Dads Day, honoring the dads of all Fighting Illini. A “King Dad” will be crowned at halftime. [FINGERS CROSSED!]
RUTGERS GAME SOLD OUT
• The Rutgers sellout is Illinois' fourth in a row, tying the program's longest sellout streak since 1982-87 (28 straight). The Illini also sold out four straight games during the 2008 season.
• Over the last four seasons, Illinois has experienced the largest growth in attendance in the nation and the largest growth in the Big Ten by a wide margin. Average attendance increased by nearly 20,000 from 2021 to 2024, ranking Illinois #1 in the nation in three-year growth (+19,403 average attendance gained) and #9 in the nation in percentage growth (+54.89% attendance increase). [WELL, THIS IS ONE WAY TO SPIN IT]
WINNING WAYS
• Illinois has 15 wins over the last two seasons. A 16th win would give Illinois its most wins over a two-year stretch since 1989-90, when the Illini went 10-2 then 8-4 under John Mackovic. [AND IT FEELS LIKE DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN]
• Illinois' most wins over a two-year stretch:
18 — 1989-90; 1902-03; 1901-02
17 — 1983-84; 1982-83; 1903-04
16 — 1988-89; 1950-51
• Illinois is 15-6 over the last two seasons, including 11 Power-4 wins, eight Big Ten wins, and wins over teams from every other Power-4 conference: the SEC (vs. South Carolina, 2024), the ACC (at Duke, 2025), and the Big XII (Kansas, 2024).
• Illinois is 10-2 against unranked teams over the last two seasons (2024-25). [WERE 10-1 BEFORE LAST WEEKEND! THANKS QANON97!]
• Illinois is looking to become postseason eligible in back-to-back seasons for the first time since 2010-11. [SAD!]
THE ILLINOIS OFFENSE
• The Illinois offense has improved every year since offensive coordinator Barry Lunney Jr.'s arrival. The Illini averaged 24.2 points per game in Lunney's first year in 2022, followed by 24.5 in 2023, 28.3 in 2024, and now 32.9 in 2025. [GOING TO NEED MORE THAN 33 PPG WITH THIS DEFENSE!]
• Illinois is averaging 32.9 points per game, currently the highest mark in Illinois history (record 32.5 set in 2010).
• QB Luke Altmyer ranks in the top 25 in the nation in four major passing categories:
National Rank Category Stat
9th Completion Percentage 71.2
11th Passing Efficiency 165.6
17th Passing Yards 2,020
24th Touchdown Passes 15
• Altmyer is sixth in the nation in 50+-yard passing plays (5) and 11th in the nation in 40+-yard passing plays (
.
• Altmyer has led Illinois on six game-winning drives in the final minute/OT from 2023-25, the most of any QB in the nation.
• Illinois is 19-11 in games started by Altmyer over the last three seasons.
• Hank Beatty is the only player in the nation with a passing, rushing, receiving, and punt return touchdown this season.
• Beatty is ninth in the nation and third in the Big Ten in receiving yards (690).
ALTMYER CLIMBING ILLINOIS' ALL-TIME RANKS
• Luke Altmyer's 64.9% (547/843) career completion percentage at Illinois is currently the best in program history.
• All-time Illinois career touchdown leaders:
Rank Player, Years Touchdown Passes
1. Kurt Kittner, 1998-2001 70
2. Juice Williams, 2006-09 56
3t. Nathan Scheelhaase, 2010-13 55
3t. Jack Trudeau, 1981-85 55
5. Luke Altmyer, 2023-25 50
• All-time Illinois career passing yardage leaders:
Rank Player, Years Passing Yards
1. Jack Trudeau, 1981-85 8,725
2. Kurt Kittner, 1998-2001 8,722
3. Nathan Scheelhaase, 2010-13 8,568
4. Juice Williams, 2006-09 8,037
5. Jason Verduzco, 1989-92 7,532
6. Tony Eason, 1981-82 7,031
7. Luke Altmyer, 2023-25 6,620
[I ACTUALLY HAVE A BUDDY WHO IS ADAMANT THAT ALTMYER SUCKS]
THE ILLINOIS DEFENSE [THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD....]
• Illinois ranks fourth in the nation in fumbles recovered ( and 15th in the nation in forced fumbles (7).
• Preseason All-American OLB Gabe Jacas leads the Illini with 4.5 sacks (10th in Big Ten) and two forced fumbles.
• DB Xavier Scott, a Thorpe Award semifinalist last season, had surgery Sept. 24 and is out indefinitely.
[WELL, IT WAS GOOD AND SHORT....]
THE ILLINOIS SPECIAL TEAMS
• Hank Beatty is 15th in the nation in punt return yards (170) while averaging 18.9 yards per punt return.
• David Olano has hit 12 straight field goals after his second attempt of the year was blocked due to a blocking breakdown against Western Illinois in the season opener. It is his lone miss on the season on field goals or extra points.
• Olano's 12 straight makes is the program's longest streak since 1993 and one away from tying the Illini record.
Rank Player, Dates Consecutive FGs
1. Mike Bass, 9/11-10/9/1982 13
2t. David Olano, 9/6/2025-present 12
2t. Chris Richardson, 10/9-11/6/1993 12
• Olano is 22nd in the nation in kickoff touchback percentage (39/48, 81.3%).
• Keelan Crimmins is averaging 45.3 yards per punt, 0.1 off of the Illinois record of 45.4 set by Steve Weatherford in 2004.
THE BIELEMA ERA
• Bret Bielema is 33-25 during his Illinois career. Since Robert Zuppke went undefeated in two of his first three seasons at Illinois from 1913-15, Bielema's 33-25 start is the second-best through 58 games by an Illini head coach, behind only Mike White (34-23-1, 1980 through 1985 Week 1). [BRING BACK MIKE WHITE NOW THAT CHEATING IS LEGAL!]
• Bielema is the first head coach in Illinois history to win 5+ games in each of his first five seasons in Champaign. [NOT TOO PATHETIC!]
• Among head coaches that have led Illinois to 30+ wins, Bielema's .569 winning percentage is the third-best of all-time, behind only Robert C. Zuppke (.618) and John Mackovic (.663).
• Bielema was the fourth-fastest to 30 wins in Illinois history (52 games), behind only Robert Zuppke (44 games, 1914-19), John Mackovic (45 games, 1988-91), and Mike White (50 games, 1980-84).
• Bielema has 20 Big Ten wins in his first five seasons at Illinois. It is Illinois' most Big Ten wins in a five-year stretch since winning 20 Big Ten games from 1991-95.
• Bielema’s seven ranked wins as Illinois head coach are the third-most in program history.
Rank Illinois Head Coach Ranked Wins
1. Ray Eliot, 1942-59 23
2. John Mackovic, 1988-91 8
3. Bret Bielema, 2021-25 7
• Bielema's four road/neutral ranked wins (AP/Coaches/CFP) were the most of any coach in Illini history during his first four seasons in Champaign (2021 Penn State, 2021 Minnesota, 2024 Nebraska, 2024 South Carolina).
• Bielema has won at least eight games in two of his first four seasons at Illinois, becoming the first Illini head coach since John Mackovic (1988-91) to reach eight wins twice in his first four seasons in Champaign.
• Bielema is 11-10 in Big Ten road games at Illinois. His 11 Big Ten road wins are tied with Mike White for the most ever by an Illinois head coach during his first five seasons in Champaign.
ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT SUCCESS
• Illinois was one of only five schools to win a bowl game and at least one game in the NCAA men's and women's basketball tournaments in 2024-25, along with Connecticut, Iowa State, Michigan, and Mississippi.
• Illinois was one of only 16 schools to qualify for a bowl game and the NCAA men's and women's basketball tournaments in 2024-25, along with Alabama, Baylor, Connecticut, Duke, Iowa State, Liberty, Louisville, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Tennessee, Texas, and Vanderbilt.
Mr. Roberts is on assignment, so filling in is WGN Channel 9's and CBS2's very own, Harry Volkman!
Too much fucking around with the damned video...Thanks to Tempo it is now in here....Give us the fucking weather for Saturday, Harry!
Today's boutonniere is from the Grand Prairie School for troubled boys at the Nexus-Onarga Family Healing in Onarga, Illinois.
Hopefully QAnon97 does not show up to the game to fuck it up like he did last weekend!
Tailgate!
51° RealFeel® 48° RealFeel Shade™ 48°
Mostly cloudy
Wind WNW 7 mph
Wind Gusts 20 mph
Humidity 74%
Dew Point 37°
Probability of Precipitation 21%
Precipitation 0.00 in
Cloud Cover 100%
Visibility 10 mi
Game time!
51° RealFeel® 48° RealFeel Shade™ 48°
Mostly cloudy
Wind WNW 7 mph
Wind Gusts 20 mph
Humidity 57%
Dew Point 35°
Probability of Precipitation 18%
Precipitation 0.00 in
Cloud Cover 74%
Visibility 10 mi
And now to the odds. Jimmy the Greek and Brent are also on assignment. So we have perpetually surly Beano Cook with us today! Take it away Beano!
This fucking sucks having to discuss Illinois football.....
Well, the line started Illini -10.5. Now -12.5 to -13. The saps must think Illinois is good and Rutgers stinks. Well, they both STINK! Neither one of them is as good as Notre Dame, Penn State, Ohio State, Michigan or even my alma mater, Pittsburgh. And we called Pittsburgh "Shittsburgh!" I feel bad for anyone going to this stinker. Golden Age my ass! Take Rutgers and watch Ohio State instead on Fox.
Money Line: Was Rutgers +285 and Illinois -360. Now Rutgers from +350 to +385. Illinois -470 and now -450 to 490. Ahhhhh, just flip a coin. How is that for analysis?
Over/Under: Started 60.5. Now 62 to 63. No one apparently going to play defense in this one. Take the over.
As that shitstain Jimmy the Greek predicted, Illini now 5-3 against the spread and 5-3 on the over/under.
Just want to say: I hate Reece Davis. Fucker never paid for a meal on the road. Son of a bitch.
Anyone going to this one? Will be out in Lot 46 early and then Lot 31, I think, post-game.
Go Illini.
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