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Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!

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ThePAMan

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Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!
« on: December 31, 2024, 09:55:22 AM »
Everything stolen unless bracketed....

Quote
#20 Illinois (9-3, 6-3 Big Ten) vs. #15 South Carolina (9-3, 5-3 SEC)
Date/Time   Tuesday, Dec. 31 | 2 p.m. CT
Location   Orlando, Florida (Camping World Stadium) (Judge Judy had best left awhile ago)
TV   ABC
Radio   SiriusXM 82

Earning its 13th guaranteed opportunity of the season, No. 20 Illinois will take on No. 15 South Carolina in the Cheez-It Citrus Bowl on New Year's Eve. The contest marks the team's second bowl appearance under head coach Bret Bielema, while the Orange and Blue aim to leave Camping World Stadium in Orlando with their first postseason victory since 2011. [SAD!]

Facing off against one of the hottest teams in the country, the Orange and Blue look to bring the juice against the Gamecocks in the Cheez-It Citrus Bowl.

Illini Look for 10th Win of the Season, First Bowl Victory Since 2011
Entering the game with a 9-3 mark and having already posted three ranked wins this season, the Illini aim to match their program's single-season record and reach 10 victories for the fifth time. [PATHETIC!]

The team's last 10-win campaign came back in 2001, when the Orange and Blue earned a bid to the Sugar Bowl. The only other prior instances occurred in 1902, 1983, and 1989, with the 1983 team playing in the Rose Bowl and the 1989 squad securing a spot in the Citrus Bowl.

That appearance at the 1990 Citrus Bowl, an 31-21 Illinois victory over Virginia, is the team's only other trip to the Orlando-based bowl.

Bielema's first-career bowl appearance as a head coach took place at the 2007 Citrus Bowl, then called the Capital One Bowl, guiding Wisconsin to the postseason and to a 17-14 victory over Arkansas.

In his 16 years as a head coach, Bielema has led 12 of his teams – including this year's Illini squad – to bowl games.

Opponent Scout: South Carolina Offense
The Gamecocks arrive in Orlando having won their last six games, with their most recent triumph coming in a 17-14 road victory over ACC champion and College Football Playoff participant Clemson. South Carolina has not lost since Oct. 12, a narrow 27-25 road defeat to Alabama, while the Gamecocks have averaged 35.7 points per game during their lengthy winning streak.

South Carolina's offensive success can be attributed, in large part, to quarterback LaNorris Sellers, who was named SEC Freshman of the Year by the conference's coaches. Playing in 11 games this season, Sellers is averaging 206.7 passing and 59.5 rushing yards per game while completing nearly 65% of his pass attempts. Sellers has totaled multiple scores in each of the last five games, and he has registered 17 passing and seven rushing touchdowns this season compared to only seven interceptions. [DANGER WILL ROBINSON!]

The Gamecocks' leading rusher is senior running back Raheim Sanders, who finished the regular season with team-best marks in rushing yards (881, 73.4 yards per game) and rushing touchdowns (11). Sanders was one of seven players in the SEC to post double-digit rushing scores during the 2024 campaign.

Tight end Joshua Simon is the team's top receiver with 450 yards and six touchdowns on 34 catches, all of which are team-leading tallies. Simon has secured a receiving score in four of the last five games after recording only one touchdown through his first six appearances.

Nine different Gamecock pass-catchers have over 100 receiving yards this season, while wide receivers Mazeo Bennett Jr. and Nyck Harbor rank second on the team with three receiving scores apiece.

Opponent Scout: South Carolina Defense
South Carolina EDGE rusher Kyle Kennard was the leader of the Gamecock defense in 2024, which culminated in his recognition as the winners of the Bronko Nagurski Trophy and SEC Defensive Player of the Year award. Kennard declared for the 2025 NFL Draft on Dec. 13 after amassing 15.5 tackles for loss, 11.5 sacks, 10 quarterback hurries, three forced fumbles, and two fumble recoveries.

Defensive back Nick Emmanwori finished the regular season with a team-high 83 tackles, while his four interceptions were tied with DB Jalon Kilgore for the team lead. Three other Gamecock defenders made over 50 tackles: linebackers Demetrius Knight Jr. (75), Bam Martin-Scott (65), and Debo Williams (59).

Though Kennard made the most sacks, EDGE rusher Dylan Stewart was not far behind with 6.5 sacks. Defensive tackles Tonka Hemingway and T.J. Sanders totaled four sacks each. DB Judge Collier led the Gamecocks with eight pass breakups. 

[THEY ARE MISSING GUYS! NO CLUE WHO]

Notes
#20 Illinois Selected for the Cheez-It Citrus Bowl
• Illinois qualified for the 21st bowl game in program history. [ANOTHER INDICTMENT!]
• The Citrus Bowl will be Illinois' second New Year's bowl game in the last three seasons, along with the 2023 ReliaQuest Bowl following Illinois' 8-4 regular season in 2022. The last time Illinois played in two New Year's bowls in a three-year span was 1990-91, when the program played in the 1990 Citrus Bowl and the 1991 Hall of Fame Bowl (now the ReliaQuest Bowl).
• Illinois will play in two bowls over a three-year stretch for the first time since back-to-back bowl seasons in 2010 and 2011. [YOU CANNOT MAKE THESE TERRIBLE STATS UP]
• Bret Bielema is the first Illini coach to go to two bowl games in his first four seasons since Lou Tepper from 1991-94. [LOL!]
• Illinois is looking to win a bowl game for the first time since Dec. 31, 2011 (Kraft Fight Hunger vs. UCLA, W, 20-14). [ZOOK DID NOT EVEN COACH THE GAME!]

Nine-Win Illinois
• Illinois is looking to tie its school record for wins in a season with 10, set in 1902, 1983, 1989, and 2001.
• Illinois won 9+ regular season games for the eighth time in program history (1892, 1902, 1904, 1983, 1989, 2001, 2007).
• Illinois has 22 wins over the last three seasons, the program's most in a three-year span since 1999-01 (23 wins).
• Illinois had six Big Ten wins for the first time since going 6-2 in Big Ten games in 2007 on the way to the 2008 Rose Bowl.
• Illinois had its third six-win Big Ten season in the last 30 years (2001, 2007, 2024). [IT REALLY IS TOO SAD FOR ME TO KEEP COMMENTING...]

Illinois in the Rankings
• Illinois was #20 in the final College Football Playoff Top 25. The Illini were ranked in the last four CFP rankings, the longest stretch of consecutive CFP rankings in program history. Before this year, Illinois had appeared in two CFP rankings in 2022.
• Illinois is in the AP Top 25 for the 11th time this season, coming in at #21 in the Dec. 8 poll.
• Illinois' 11 AP Poll appearances are tied for the third-most in program history behind only 1989 (17) and 1990 (16).
• Illinois has five wins when ranked in the AP Top 25, the most since recording eight such wins during the 1990 season.

Illinois at the Citrus Bowl
• Illinois was invited to the Cheez-It Citrus Bowl for the second time in program history (1990 Florida Citrus Bowl vs. Virginia).
• Illinois will return to the Citrus Bowl for the first time since the 1989 season, when RB Howard Griffith and QB Jeff George led the Fighting Illini to a 31-21 victory over Virginia in the 1990 Florida Citrus Bowl.
• Illinois snapped a 26-year bowl victory drought with the win over Virginia in the 1990 Florida Citrus Bowl, the Illini's only appearance in the Citrus Bowl. Illinois jumped on the Cavaliers early, with LB Bill Henkel recovering a fumble on the opening kickoff. Five plays later, QB Jeff George drilled a 15-yard scoring strike to Steven Williams. After Virginia tied the game early in the second quarter, George directed Illinois on an 80-yard scoring drive. Illinois opened the second half with an 84-yard drive capped by RB Howard Griffith's three-yard TD. Early in the fourth quarter, WR Mike Bellamy scored on a 26-yard pass from George to clinch an Illini victory. George earned MVP honors, completing 26-of-38 for 321 yards and three TDs.

The Bielema Era
• Bret Bielema is 27-22 during his Illinois career. Since Robert Zuppke went undefeated in two of his first three seasons at Illinois from 1913-15, Bielema's 27-22 start is the second-best through 49 games by an Illini head coach, behind only Mike White (29-19-1, 1980-83).
• Bielema has won at least eight games in two of his first four seasons at Illinois, becoming the first Illini head coach since John Mackovic (1988-91) to do so.
• Bielema's 18 Big Ten wins through his first four seasons at Illinois are the most since John Mackovic won 22 in his first four seasons from 1988-91.
• Bielema's five ranked wins (AP/Coaches/CFP) during his first four seasons are tied for the second-most in program history, behind only John Mackovic (8, 1988-91) and tied with Mike White (5, 1980-83).
• Bielema has three road ranked wins (AP/Coaches/CFP) during his first four seasons in Champaign. He is the second coach in Illinois history to win three ranked games on the road during his first four seasons, joining Lou Tepper (1992-96).
• Bielema has had the Illini ranked in 15 AP polls during his first four seasons in Champaign. Only John Mackovic (39 weeks, 1988-91) had the Illini ranked more during their first four seasons as Illinois head coaches.
• Bielema joined John Mackovic (1988-91) and Lou Tepper (1992-95) as the only head coaches in Illinois history to win 5+ games in each of their first four seasons leading the Fighting Illini.
• Bielema is 10-8 in Big Ten road games at Illinois. His 10 Big Ten road wins are tied for the second-most by an Illini head coach in his first four seasons, behind only Mike White (11, 1980-83) and tied with Lou Tepper (10, 1992-95), and John Mackovic (10, 1988-91)

GAMBLING!
VSiN had the original line at Illini +9.5. Now between 9.5 and 8.5. Ouch. I thought I saw it at 10 to 10.5. Hopefully the Illini don't suck Cocks today and they cover the spread!

M/L: Cocks were -343 and Illini were +263. Cocks now -330to -350. Illini +260 to +275

O/U 49.5 has not moved. All these bowl games seem to be going over. The Cocks may go over by themselves.

Illini wearing new script helmets. I saw it on the BlueSkyye!

Go Illini!
Mark Carman: "The Whitlock!...Caleb Williams failed Wayne Whitlock." Been told I need to take my dick out my mouth so maybe I "wont [sic] sound like such a fucking faggot all the time[.]"

Tempo: "PAMan is a pot stirrer and agent provocateur"

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Custard

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Re: Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2024, 10:39:26 AM »
I L L
Poster Boy for White Male Indifference

AOTC on basically everything measurable

“Custard, you were RIGHT!” -Tempo

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Custard

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Re: Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2024, 10:39:41 AM »
By the way thanks for ripping this off and making the post!
Poster Boy for White Male Indifference

AOTC on basically everything measurable

“Custard, you were RIGHT!” -Tempo

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Judge Judy

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Because FOX News told me so…

HQ2 Cesspool March Madness champion 🏆

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Reacher

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Re: Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2024, 12:39:15 PM »
LFG! Let’s win this Cheez Dick Bowl!
"He commented more than once that, 'You know, Hitler did some good things, too,'" Kelly recalled to The Times. Kelly said he would usually quash the conversation by saying "nothing (Hitler) did, you could argue, was good," but that Trump would occasionally bring up the topic again.

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ILLove1997

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Re: Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!
« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2024, 12:43:19 PM »
oh shit I'm not gonna get much work done today, i thought the game was on tomorrow, whoops
----------------------------------------------------
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2025 - Pot stirrer of the year

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Somewhere in Mn

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Re: Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!
« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2024, 01:31:31 PM »
Mizzou-xxxx was close. Bama-Mich is close. Let's do the same vs an SEC team and get a win.

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ThePAMan

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Re: Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2024, 02:17:37 PM »
Way to play with some sand, defense!
Mark Carman: "The Whitlock!...Caleb Williams failed Wayne Whitlock." Been told I need to take my dick out my mouth so maybe I "wont [sic] sound like such a fucking faggot all the time[.]"

Tempo: "PAMan is a pot stirrer and agent provocateur"

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Reacher

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Re: Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!
« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2024, 02:23:18 PM »
Mizzou-xxxx was close. Bama-Mich is close. Let's do the same vs an SEC team and get a win.

Did Bama have star players sit out? If not, another bad look for the SEC.
"He commented more than once that, 'You know, Hitler did some good things, too,'" Kelly recalled to The Times. Kelly said he would usually quash the conversation by saying "nothing (Hitler) did, you could argue, was good," but that Trump would occasionally bring up the topic again.

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ThePAMan

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Re: Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!
« Reply #9 on: December 31, 2024, 02:24:58 PM »
WTF
Mark Carman: "The Whitlock!...Caleb Williams failed Wayne Whitlock." Been told I need to take my dick out my mouth so maybe I "wont [sic] sound like such a fucking faggot all the time[.]"

Tempo: "PAMan is a pot stirrer and agent provocateur"

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Somewhere in Mn

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Re: Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!
« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2024, 02:25:40 PM »
Holy Toledo

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Reacher

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Re: Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!
« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2024, 02:25:43 PM »
That’s literally the first play I saw. Just turned it on. SMH
"He commented more than once that, 'You know, Hitler did some good things, too,'" Kelly recalled to The Times. Kelly said he would usually quash the conversation by saying "nothing (Hitler) did, you could argue, was good," but that Trump would occasionally bring up the topic again.

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ThePAMan

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Re: Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!
« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2024, 02:26:49 PM »
What are the odds you can't see squat from the replays?
Mark Carman: "The Whitlock!...Caleb Williams failed Wayne Whitlock." Been told I need to take my dick out my mouth so maybe I "wont [sic] sound like such a fucking faggot all the time[.]"

Tempo: "PAMan is a pot stirrer and agent provocateur"

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Reacher

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Re: Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!
« Reply #13 on: December 31, 2024, 02:27:11 PM »
I was like “oh cool, Illini touchdown!” Oops.
"He commented more than once that, 'You know, Hitler did some good things, too,'" Kelly recalled to The Times. Kelly said he would usually quash the conversation by saying "nothing (Hitler) did, you could argue, was good," but that Trump would occasionally bring up the topic again.

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Reacher

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Re: Hey Tempo! Illini! Cheez-Its! Cocks! 2PM! NYE! ABC!
« Reply #14 on: December 31, 2024, 02:27:54 PM »
What are the odds you can't see squat from the replays?

Sure looked like he was in. But I was watching through the door on the shitter.
"He commented more than once that, 'You know, Hitler did some good things, too,'" Kelly recalled to The Times. Kelly said he would usually quash the conversation by saying "nothing (Hitler) did, you could argue, was good," but that Trump would occasionally bring up the topic again.