You know from whence it was stolen....
#23 Illinois vs. #21 USC
Date/Time Saturday, Sept. 27 | 11 a.m. CT
Location Champaign, Illinois (Gies Memorial Stadium) [I'D WANT MY MONEY BACK AFTER LAST WEEK]
Tickets Sold Out
TV FOX
CHAMPAIGN, Ill. – #23 Illinois welcomes #21 USC to Champaign on Saturday for an 11 a.m. CT kickoff on FOX. The Fighting Illini will host its annual Homecoming celebration, including the Homecoming parade on Friday night prior to Saturday's football game.
Illinois and USC will meet for the first time since the 2008 Rose Bowl Game following the 2007 season. [UGH] USC will be making its first visit to Champaign since 1996. [THEY REALLY KICKED ILLINI ASS THAT DAY I RECALL]
Gus Johnson (play-by-play), Joel Klatt (analyst), and Jenny Taft (reporter) have the television broadcast on FOX. The Busey Bank Illini Sports Network has the radio call with Brian Barnhart (play-by-play), Carey Davis (analyst), and Michael Martin (sideline).
Big Noon Kickoff Headed to Illinois
FOX's Big Noon Kickoff pregame show is coming to Champaign for the first time ever on Saturday. The network's popular pregame show featuring Rob Stone; analysts Mark Ingram II, Matt Leinart, Urban Meyer, Brady Quinn; and Barstool's Dave Portnoy [TEMPO HATES HIM!] will air live from Grange Grove from 9-11 a.m. CT. Chris "The Bear" Fallica also provides analysis, in addition to insight and interviews from reporter Tom Rinaldi.
FOX Big Noon Kickoff will be live from the south side of Grange Grove from 9 a.m. CT until approximately 10:15 a.m. CT before moving inside Gies Memorial Stadium for the remainder of the show. Big Noon Kickoff will be preceded by The Barstool College Football Show beginning at 8 a.m. CT at the same site.
Grange Grove will open at 7 a.m. CT on Saturday. Big Noon Kickoff's activations will open at 8 a.m. CT.
Admission to the Big Noon Kickoff area is free, and fans are encouraged to bring signs. FOX will be giving away game tickets, food [SHIT SANDWICHES?], trucker hats [
], and other items.
Homecoming: "Illinois, Where legends begin"
• Saturday's Fighting Illini football game vs. USC is the final activity in a week-long celebration of Illinois alumni returning to campus. Homecoming week at Illinois celebrates its 115th year of Illinois traditions.
• Friday's Homecoming parade begins at 6 p.m. at 4th and Kirby. A full calendar is available at homecoming.illinois.edu.
• The 2025 Homecoming Grand Marshal is REO Speedwagon. ["GOLDEN COUNTRY" MATCHES THE CURRENT ILLINI GOLDEN AGE!]
• This year's Homecoming theme is: "Illinois, where legends begin" [AND GO TO DIE]
• Illinois boasts being one of the first universities to celebrate Homecoming, a tradition on almost every college campus. It was conceived in 1909 by students C.F. Williams and W. Elmer Ekblaw, members of the Shield and Trident senior society. They joined with another society, Phoenix, to organize the three-day event. The first Homecoming celebrated on Illinois' campus was on Oct. 15, 1910, which the Illini won 3-0 over Chicago. [SUCK IT, NERDS!]
Notes
#23 Illinois Hosts #21 USC
• After a 3-1 start, Illinois hosts #21 USC for the Illini's first Big Ten home game of the season.
• Illinois snapped a seven-game winning streak last week at Indiana, which was tied for the longest active winning streak in the nation with reigning national champion Ohio State and Memphis. [SAD TROMBONE]
Illinois in the Rankings
• Illinois is ranked #23 both the AP Top 25 and the US LBM Coaches Poll. [FOR NOW]
• Last season, Illinois hosted Michigan in the Illini's first ranked-vs.-ranked matchup at home since 2000. Now, the Illini will play a ranked-vs.-ranked home game in back-to-back years for the first time since 1990-91. [USUALLY BECAUSE THE ILLINI SUCK ASS]
• Illinois had its highest preseason ranking (#12) since 1990, when the Illini started #11 in the Preseason AP Top 25. [NOT ANYMORE]
• Illinois' #12 preseason ranking is the ninth-highest in program history since the AP Preseason Poll began in 1950. [THOSE WERE THE DAYS]
• Illinois was ranked in the Preseason AP Top 25 and the Preseason Coaches Poll for the first time since 2008. [NOT LOOKING TOO SMART NOW]
Tough, Smart, Dependable [HAHAHAHAHA]
• Illinois is 10th in the nation and tied for third in the Big Ten in turnover margin (+5).
• Illinois has only one turnover this season, a fourth-quarter interception at Indiana.
• Illinois has thrown only seven interceptions over the last two seasons (2024-25), tied with Army, James Madison, Missouri, and for the third-fewest in the nation over that span. Only Marshall (5) and Vanderbilt (6) have thrown fewer interceptions than Illinois over the last two seasons.
• Illinois is 10-1 when it has committed zero or one turnover over the last two seasons (2024-25). The Illini's only loss during that stretch was at Indiana this season, when the Illini's fourth-quarter interception was their lone turnover.
• Illinois is 10-1 when it has forced one or more turnovers over the last two seasons (2024-25). The Illini's only loss during that stretch was at Oregon last season, when the Illini gained a fourth-quarter interception.
The Illinois Offense
• QB Luke Altmyer is 15th in the nation and seventh in the Big Ten in passing efficiency (171.5).
• Altmyer is one of three Big Ten quarterbacks with 8+ passing touchdowns and zero interceptions, along with Indiana's Fernando Mendoza (14/0) and USC's Jayden Maiava(9/0). [OH BOY....]
• Altmyer is 25th in the nation and eighth in the Big Ten in completion percentage (70.0).
• WR Hank Beatty is sixth in the Big Ten in receiving yards (302).
• Beatty is 19th in the nation and fifth Big Ten in all-purpose yards (488).
• Illinois has scored 38 or more points in six of its last eight games dating back to last season. [NOT LAST WEEK]
The Illinois Defense
• Illinois is tied for the national lead in fumble recoveries (5) and tied for seventh in the nation in forced fumbles (4).
• Illinois is tied for 12th in the nation and fourth in the Big Ten in sacks (12.0).
• Preseason All-American OLB Gabe Jacas is tied for 13th in the nation and third in the Big Ten in sacs (3.5), while ranking tied for second in the nation in forced fumbles (2).
[• ILLINOIS GAVE UP 63 FUCKING POINTS LAST WEEK]
The Illinois Special Teams
• Hank Beatty ranks fifth in the nation in yards per punt return (25.0) and fifth in punt return yards (161).
• Keelan Crimmins ranks 15th in the nation and second in the Big Ten in yards per punt (46.2).
[• ILLINOIS HAD A FUCKING PUNT BLOCKED LAST WEEK]
And now for even more depressing news....VSin, Brent Musberger and Jimmy the Greek, take it away!
Brent: Thanks ThePAMan! You are looking live at a despondent Illini USC football game thread....Greek, what is your take on this game?
Greek: Well, Illinois sucks again, is completely overrated and is overmatched this game. They better hope the USC team is too tired from fucking all the cheerleaders and Song Girls since it will be 9AM Pacific Time when this snoozer starts. USC is only 2-2 against the spread and its games have gone over 3 of 4 times. Illinois is 3-1 against the spread and it is 2-2 on over/unders. I will take USC and give the 6.5 points. I see this is USC 33 - Illinois 26 and I am being nice to Illinois. The best thing about this game is hoping that at halftime the bands play REO Speedwagon's 157 Riverside Avenue and include the scat singing section of that song. Unless I get a drink I am going to punch you in your weasel face.
Brent: And now for the lines....
Started Illini +5.5. Now +6.5 across the board with some variation on the vig.
Moneyline: USC started -205 and now -240 to 265! Woah! Illinois started +170. Now +196 to +215. Vegas Sharps not liking the Illini's chances 2 weeks in a row!
O/U: 59.5. Can get it or 60. The Greek thinks it will go under!
Now, back to ThePAMan...
Thanks Brent. And now, your weather report from the one and only, Mr. Roberts!
Thanks you filthy Zionist....
For all you alcoholics like me who will be in the lots at 7AM, you will be looking at:
78° with a RealFeel® 84° and a RealFeel Shade™ 76°
Sunny and warm Wind WSW 4 mph
Wind Gusts 12 mph
Humidity 63%
Dew Point 56°
Probability of Precipitation 2%
Precipitation 0.00 in
Cloud Cover 0%
Visibility 10 mi
Game time:
82° with a RealFeel® 86° and under the East deck a RealFeel Shade™ 79°
Sunny and warm with it raining USC scoring passes
Wind W 4 mph
Wind Gusts 12 mph
Humidity 46%
Dew Point 55°
Probability of Precipitation 1%
Precipitation 0.00 in
Cloud Cover 5%
Visibility 10 mi
My drunkenness 100%
After the game? You won't care. Now go fuck yourself. I have to go back and listen to Gary Richrath bitch more about Kevin Cronin. Every fucking day its the same shit with him....
Wow. Mr. Roberts took the loss last week pretty hard. And Gary Richrath hating on Kevin Cronin? Who knew? Go Illini.
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