IlliniHQ 2

General Category => Halas Hall Football Forum => Topic started by: DoctorIntheFlat on November 17, 2022, 10:15:28 AM

Title: The Doctor is In!
Post by: DoctorIntheFlat on November 17, 2022, 10:15:28 AM
Hi, I'm DoctorIntheFlat! I have a PhD in psychology, and I am here to help you work through your Mitchell Trubisky PTSD!

So lay back on the couch, and let's talk!
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: ThePAMan on November 17, 2022, 10:22:28 AM
Hi, I'm DoctorIntheFlat! I have a PhD in psychology, and I am here to help you work through your Mitchell Trubisky PTSD!

So lay back on the couch, and let's talk!

Doctor, what treatment do you suggest for a person who is fixated on a quarterback who cannot throw to RBs in the flat?
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: IVMP on November 17, 2022, 10:25:36 AM
Hi, I'm DoctorIntheFlat! I have a PhD in psychology, and I am here to help you work through your Mitchell Trubisky PTSD!

So lay back on the couch, and let's talk!

So I have this long-term, free-form delusion.

There's a team that won a Super Bowl in pretty dominant fashion. It was good for a time after that, but it kept trying to play D-level quarterbacks and get A-level play. Meanwhile, the good pieces on defense started leaving. Eventually this team was pretty craptastic and fired the coach that won the Super Bowl.

Since then, the management has kept trying to do the same things that haven't worked. The team keeps rolling out D-level quarterbacks and receivers. When it finally builds up an offense, the defense is full of holes. Once the defense is fixed, the offense sucks again.

How do I move on from this delusion? Certainly no NFL franchise would exhibit this long-term pattern, right?

And for my next appointment, I want to discuss the college football playoff system. Certainly no team could lose to the 19th-ranked team, and look bad doing so, then also lose 40-13 in another game, yet still be ranked 6th, right? This has to be a delusion!
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: DoctorIntheFlat on November 17, 2022, 11:02:07 AM
Doctor, what treatment do you suggest for a person who is fixated on a quarterback who cannot throw to RBs in the flat?

I can only assume you're referring to Mitchell Trubisky, who had a hard time hitting anyone anywhere on the field! Mitchell Trubisky is no longer your problem, so my advice to you is to let him go!
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: DoctorIntheFlat on November 17, 2022, 11:07:14 AM
So I have this long-term, free-form delusion.

There's a team that won a Super Bowl in pretty dominant fashion. It was good for a time after that, but it kept trying to play D-level quarterbacks and get A-level play. Meanwhile, the good pieces on defense started leaving. Eventually this team was pretty craptastic and fired the coach that won the Super Bowl.

Since then, the management has kept trying to do the same things that haven't worked. The team keeps rolling out D-level quarterbacks and receivers. When it finally builds up an offense, the defense is full of holes. Once the defense is fixed, the offense sucks again.

How do I move on from this delusion? Certainly no NFL franchise would exhibit this long-term pattern, right?

And for my next appointment, I want to discuss the college football playoff system. Certainly no team could lose to the 19th-ranked team, and look bad doing so, then also lose 40-13 in another game, yet still be ranked 6th, right? This has to be a delusion!


Much work to do here. Should require multiple sessions. Do you have your insurance information handy?

Much scar tissue to work through here. My first question would be do you think your relationship with this team is salvageable? Is this team working sincerely to meet your needs?
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: DoctorIntheFlat on November 17, 2022, 11:11:04 AM
As far as the college playoffs, life is unfair and the system is rigged for the powerful. Sooner we can come to terms with that, the sooner we find inner peace.
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: Reacher on November 17, 2022, 11:32:34 AM
Wow, how did this Doc know he was needed here? Not all heroes wear capes.
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: ThePAMan on November 17, 2022, 11:47:04 AM
I can only assume you're referring to Mitchell Trubisky, who had a hard time hitting anyone anywhere on the field! Mitchell Trubisky is no longer your problem, so my advice to you is to let him go!

I was thinking you would say that a person that fixated on a QB who cannot make simple passes needed shock therapy or something like that.
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: No one in Mn on November 17, 2022, 11:49:34 AM
Do you have experience in use of a pharmaceutical intervention or counseling preference in treating an obsessive compulsive disorder ?
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: Judge Judy on November 17, 2022, 11:57:40 AM
Hey doc, can I get some Adderall?!
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: ThePAMan on November 17, 2022, 11:59:05 AM
Doc:

What is the over/under on Tempo Mitch Fields related sock puppets? Over/under 2 more?
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: Judge Judy on November 17, 2022, 12:03:20 PM
Doc:

What is the over/under on Tempo Mitch Fields related sock puppets? Over/under 2 more?

3 to 5 maybe?! So definitely over.
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: ThePAMan on November 17, 2022, 12:16:20 PM
3 to 5 maybe?! So definitely over.

Good call.
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: DoctorIntheFlat on November 17, 2022, 01:21:05 PM
I was thinking you would say that a person that fixated on a QB who cannot make simple passes needed shock therapy or something like that.

My next question for you would be, have you watched this quarterback play in the last month? Or to quote Smokey, are you "bringing up old shit?"
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: DoctorIntheFlat on November 17, 2022, 01:21:31 PM
Hey doc, can I get some Adderall?!

DM me
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: ThePAMan on November 17, 2022, 01:22:29 PM
My next question for you would be, have you watched this quarterback play in the last month? Or to quote Smokey, are you "bringing up old shit?"

Yes.
Who is Smokey?
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: DoctorIntheFlat on November 17, 2022, 01:22:45 PM
Doc:

What is the over/under on Tempo Mitch Fields related sock puppets? Over/under 2 more?

You could be in the wrong office. You may be looking for a surgeon to remove your head from your ass.
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: ThePAMan on November 17, 2022, 01:24:00 PM
You could be in the wrong office. You may be looking for a surgeon to remove your head from your ass.

Finally, some practical medical/psychological advice
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: Judge Judy on November 17, 2022, 01:49:31 PM
You could be in the wrong office. You may be looking for a surgeon to remove your head from your ass.

I hear Murph out in San Fran enjoys this! It’s called a banana in the tailpipe there though.
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: Reacher on November 17, 2022, 01:57:32 PM
Yes.
Who is Smokey?

For real? Were you living under a rock in the 90s?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N2uA7DbWook
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: Reacher on November 17, 2022, 02:12:24 PM
Doc:

What is the over/under on Tempo Mitch Fields related sock puppets? Over/under 2 more?

Still “Mitch Fields,” huh?
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: No one in Mn on November 17, 2022, 02:24:23 PM
Do you have a mirror in your office ?
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: ThePAMan on November 17, 2022, 03:03:03 PM
For real? Were you living under a rock in the 90s?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N2uA7DbWook

Been a long time since I watched that movie. Don't think I remember any lines from it. Sorry.
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: Reacher on November 17, 2022, 03:18:12 PM
I mean…It’s Friday…
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: Custard on November 17, 2022, 06:46:08 PM
Tempo really needs to get back to work, he doesn’t even know what day it is.
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: ThePAMan on November 17, 2022, 07:00:10 PM
Tempo really needs to get back to work, he doesn’t even know what day it is.

That's clever
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: Reacher on November 17, 2022, 07:51:19 PM
Lol
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: Reacher on November 17, 2022, 08:21:09 PM
Friday and Dumb and Dumber are probably the two most quotable movies of the 90s. How could you forget some of those lines?
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: ThePAMan on November 17, 2022, 08:51:31 PM
Friday and Dumb and Dumber are probably the two most quotable movies of the 90s. How could you forget some of those lines?

Meh. Like that's your opinion man.
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: Reacher on November 17, 2022, 09:07:11 PM
Meh. Like that's your opinion man.

Fair point. I forgot one.
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: ThePAMan on November 17, 2022, 09:08:19 PM
Screens and throws to RBs in the flat seem to work well against the Packer. Too bad the Bear can't run those plays.
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: Judge Judy on November 17, 2022, 09:19:28 PM
Screens and throws to RBs in the flat seem to work well against the Packer. Too bad the Bear can't run those plays.

Meh. Like that's your preference man.
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: ThePAMan on November 17, 2022, 09:27:18 PM
Meh. Like that's your preference man.

Good point
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: Reacher on November 17, 2022, 09:41:53 PM
I saw the Bears execute the best RB screen pass they’ve had in years about a month ago. Can’t remember which game. Minnesota maybe? Most underutilized play in football IMO.
Title: Re: The Doctor is In!
Post by: Custard on November 17, 2022, 10:23:47 PM
Meh. Like that's your opinion man.

Yessssss

My home is awash in Lebowski paraphernalia