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Komic Relief

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illiniray

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #45 on: May 17, 2022, 01:55:21 PM »
« Last Edit: June 16, 2022, 01:32:35 PM by illiniray »
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ILLove1997

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #46 on: June 11, 2022, 11:40:11 AM »
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illiniray

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #47 on: June 14, 2022, 10:57:53 PM »
« Last Edit: June 16, 2022, 01:32:57 PM by illiniray »
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illiniray

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #48 on: June 16, 2022, 01:33:27 PM »
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illiniray

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #49 on: July 25, 2022, 06:52:52 AM »
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illiniray

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #50 on: July 25, 2022, 06:53:50 AM »
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illiniray

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #51 on: July 25, 2022, 08:20:53 AM »
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ridingthegrange

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #52 on: July 25, 2022, 10:30:34 AM »
The "Show Me" state!

Ray's on a roll today!
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alum74

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #53 on: July 25, 2022, 01:08:46 PM »
Quote from: illiniray on July 25, 2022, 08:20:53 AM


Or as reported by FOX News...

Upon learning that VP Mike Pence's life might be in jeopardy, Josh Hawley (completely disregarding his own personal safety) broke into a run to offer his strength and resolve in assisting the Secret Service in guarding and protecting Mr. Pence.
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illiniray

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #54 on: August 05, 2022, 05:34:25 PM »
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Judge Judy

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #55 on: August 05, 2022, 05:51:52 PM »
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Because FOX News told me so…

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illiniray

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #56 on: August 09, 2022, 09:48:24 PM »


A man calls Pizza hut to order a pizza...
CALLER:  Is this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE:  No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER:  I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.
GOOGLE:  No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
CALLER:  OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE:  Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER:  My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE:  According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER:  Super! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE:  May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER:  What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE:  Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER:  How do you know that?
GOOGLE:  Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER:  Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza!  I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE:  Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER:  I bought more from another Pharmacy.
GOOGLE:  That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER:  I paid in cash.
GOOGLE:  But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER:  I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE:  That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!
CALLER:  WHAT THE !!!
GOOGLE:  I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER:  Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE:  I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
« Last Edit: August 09, 2022, 09:51:28 PM by illiniray »
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Custard

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #57 on: August 09, 2022, 10:38:31 PM »
Yep
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illiniray

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #58 on: August 10, 2022, 06:20:11 PM »
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“Taking a trip? Where to?”  -“Wherever I end up, I guess. -“Man, I wish I was you." -Well, hang in there.”
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Chickengeorge

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Re: Komic Relief
« Reply #59 on: September 13, 2022, 05:09:54 PM »
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