I’m going to bear my soul here for a minute. I’d like to address those who think “You should be “wearing the pants, calling the shots, have the upper hand.” When I was 5-6 years old my mother decided to cut off a significant amount of her hair and go short. My dad, probably a bit drunk after drinking at the North End Tap around the corner went after my mother with scissors threatening to “go short.” He didn’t, but it was terrible to witness. I don’t remember a lot of stuff from that age, but I remember the fear in my mom’s shriek, and I remember the terror in my own mind by what I was witnessing.
My dad wasn’t always like this, but he definitely had a strong air of intimidation in matters that mattered to him. He had some tremendous redeeming qualities, but he was a downright scary motherfucker at times. I remember our next door neighbor telling me “No one on skid row will fuck with your dad” when I was about 11. And I learned that to be true after getting old enough to go into a bar with my dad.
Anyway, I grew up in a situation where “dad called the shots” and I didn’t always enjoy it. It wasn’t a 24-7 thing, but it definitely made me realize that’s not how I wanted to run my house when I was a father/husband. If my giving equal voice or sometimes submitting to my son’s mother to you makes me a pussy, then fuck off. I’m raising my kid the best I can and the best I see fit.