Hey Tempo! Illini host SIU, 9/19 @1PMCDT, Peacock

ThePAMan

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Because "PussyMan" and "PenisMan" were trademarked

Hey Tempo! Illini host SIU, 9/19 @1PMCDT, Peacock

« on: Today at 01:27:02 PM »

Because I am a lazy, mediocre White guy, all stolen from fightingillini.com unless otherwise indicated....

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Illinois (1-1) vs. Southern Illinois (2-1)
Date | Time   Saturday, Sept. 19 | 1 p.m. CT
Location   Champaign, Ill. (Gies Memorial Stadium) {DRIVE BACK FROM CARBONDALE, JUDGE JUDY!}
TV   Peacock
Radio   SiriusXM (113/232)

CHAMPAIGN, Ill. — Illinois takes on in-state foe Southern Illinois on Saturday at Gies Memorial {Scoreboard} Stadium to end its three-game nonconference homestand to start the 2026 season. Kickoff is scheduled for 1 p.m. CT on Peacock. {GAME SHOULD ALSO BE ON NBCSPORTSNETWORK IF YOUR PROVIDER CARRIES IT}

Illinois (1-1) looks to restart its nonconference winning streak after snapping a 10-game nonconference winning streak dating back to 2023 with last week's loss to Duke. Southern Illinois (2-1) is coming off a rivalry win over SEMO.

The Illini have been highlighted through two games by wide receiver Collin Dixon, who is tied for the national lead in receiving touchdowns (5) and tied for the Big Ten lead in receptions (17). Getting Dixon the ball {BECAUSE HE IS NOT LOOKING TO THROW TO ANYONE ELSE!} is quarterback Katin Houser, who ranks seventh in the nation in ESPN's QBR metric (90.2) and ranks among the nation's top quarterbacks in passing touchdowns (14th, 6), passing efficiency (23rd, 178.6), and completion percentage (28th, 71.2).

Paul Bermeister (play-by-play), Ian Book (analyst), and Ashley ShahAhmadi (reporter) have the television broadcast streaming on Peacock. The Busey Bank Illini Sports Network has the radio call with Brian Barnhart (play-by-play), Carey Davis (analyst), and Kevin Mitchell (sideline).

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{Ashley ShahAhmadi is an American sports reporter. She formerly worked for ESPN's college football coverage since 2023, and has worked as an ESPN Radio NBA postseason reporter, covering the Minnesota/Dallas playoff series during the 2023–24 NBA season. She covered the Charlotte Hornets for six years with FanDuel Sports Network Southeast before leaving in 2024.....She covered the Atlanta Braves as well. She is now a sideline reporter for NBC Sports coverage of the NBA and WNBA.

ShahAhmadi is a graduate of the University of Georgia. She began her broadcast journalism career in Meridian, Mississippi as the weekend sports anchor at WTOK-TV. She then made a 100-market jump to Jackson, Mississippi as the weekend sports anchor at WAPT-TV. She then returned to Atlanta, Georgia to work as social media content producer and host for Fox Sports South/Southeast, then in 2018 became the reporter for the Hornets. She also was a CMT correspondent.

ShahAhmadi resides in Atlanta with her husband, retired professional baseball player Tyler Krieger, whom she married in 2023.}

New Traffic Patterns
The University of Illinois Division of Public Safety and the Division of Intercollegiate Athletics (DIA) will implement a lot-specific traffic-routing system for the 2026 Illinois football season. The new routes are designed to ease traffic as much as possible, but fans are encouraged to arrive earlier than usual and review their designated gameday parking route on the Illinois Football 2026 Parking Updates website in advance.

Notes
Illinois vs. SIU
• Illinois is 4-0 all-time against Southern Illinois.
• Illinois legend Howard Griffith produced one of the all-time great games in college football history against Southern Illinois when he ran for a record eight touchdowns against the Salukis on Sept. 22, 1990. Griffith was inducted into the Illinois Athletics Hall of Fame last weekend. {MAYBE HE CAN SUIT UP FOR THIS GAME TOO}

The Illinois Offense
• Illinois offensive coordinator Barry Lunney Jr. is the longest tenured offensive coordinator in the Big Ten. {YES, BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO GIVE HIM A PROMOTION....MAYBE RUNNING THE BALL INTO THE LINE ON 2D AND 3D DOWN IN A CLUTCH POSSESSION WAS NOT A SMART DECISION}
• WR Collin Dixon is off to one of the best starts for a wideout in program history through two games. He is tied for the Big Ten lead in receiving touchdowns (5) with Rutgers' KJ Duff and Indiana's Charlie Becker and tied for the Big Ten lead in receptions (17) with Duff. Dixon ranks third in the Big Ten in receiving yards (236), behind only Duff and Ohio State's Jeremiah Smith. Nationally, Dixon ranks tied for first in receiving touchdowns, sixth in receptions, and 13th in receiving yards. Dixon, Becker, Duff, and Buffalo's Chance Morrow are the only players in the nation with five receiving touchdowns.
• Illinois QB Katin Houser ranks seventh in the nation in ESPN's QBR metric (90.2) and ranks among the nation's top quarterbacks in passing touchdowns (14th, 6), passing efficiency (23rd, 178.6), and completion percentage (28th, 71.2).
• In the season-opening win over UAB, Houser had the eighth-best passing efficiency in a game in program history and the best ever in an Illini debut (224.6).
• WR Hudson Clement has caught a pass in 29 straight games, the sixth-longest active streak in the nation.
• The Illinois offensive line has yet to allow a sack this season.
• The Illinois offense has improved every year since Lunney's arrival. The Illini averaged 24.2 points per game in Lunney's first year in 2022, followed by 24.5 in 2023, 28.3 in 2024, and 29.4 in 2025.
• From Lunney's first season in 2022 through the 2025 season, Illinois ranked second in the Big Ten in completion percentage (65.1), fourth in passer rating (143.9), fifth in points (1,359), fifth in passing touchdowns (83), and fifth in passing yards (11,739) among the 14 teams that were in the league all four seasons (2022-25).

The Illinois Defense
• Illinois' defense is run by first-year defensive coordinator Bobby Hauck, the former Montana and UNLV head coach.
• DL Will Holmes ranks 20th in the nation with nine total pressures with a 27.3% pressure rate on pass snaps (data by PFF). {BETTER NOT DEPEND ON THE GIANT SCOREBOARD AS THE REASON THIS DUDE WILL STAY!}
• LB Ismael Kante has the eighth-longest interception return for a touchdown in the nation this season (59 yards vs. UAB).
• DB Matthew Bailey is the only player in the nation returning after leading his team in tackles in 2024 and 2025. Bailey is Illinois' leading tackler this season with 12.

Mr. Roberts? Weather?

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I am in a stew over how that Duke game went. I had big clams on that game with Babe! I have been a bent cigar since last week. What a bunch of baloney that was! I ended up getting the bum's rush out of our favorite juice joint. Next time, I will shiv that soda jerk.

It's going to be sweltering Saturday, see! As hot as a bootlegger’s boiler out on the pavement:

1PM Gametime
Mostly Cloudy
87 °F
Will Feel Like 92 °F
Precip - 15 % 0 in
Cloud cover 66 %
Dew Point   69 °F
Humidity   55 %
Wind   7 mph WSW
Barometric Pressure   29.91 in

I am off to get spifflicated with Babe and check out the gams on the dames.

Thank you Mr. Roberts. Now onto the lines with Jimmy....

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Greek: VSiN does not even have this game listed! So Brent can kiss off today.

Open Illini -41.5
Current Illini -39.5. 40 at BetRivers
Over/under open 53.5
Current over/under 54.5

69% of the action on SIU.

Illini 0-2 ATS. SIU 1-1.
Illini 2-0 on the over.

Last week I said take Duke and the under. Boy, did I underestimate the Illini defense incompetence! No more of that. Take SIU and the over.

Thanks, Greek!

Onto Tempo's Kompendium of Krap. This week, sponsored by Wyffels Hybrids.

At Wyffels Hybrids, we focus solely and intensely on corn. All those other crops can suck it! The result is a level of performance uncommon in the seed business. Sure, more corn growers are planting Wyffels today because our products just perform better than the competition. But a big part of the reason that they keep coming back? It’s the way we treat our business and our customers. Like family. You want to talk corn, we are all ears!

Locally located in Geneseo and Atkinson, Illinois.

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Mahomes looked like crap Monday night. This week in your fantasy leagues you should start Justin Fields!

I have to put on my bucket hat here. I have a beef with Ben Johnson. I started Loveland and Thomas in by Billion Dollar DFS last week. ZERO targets! Raymond and Walker got targets and not MY GUYS? WTH? Keep your shirt on this week, Ben. I do not care how many points the Bears score but you better target MY DFS PLAYERS this week! Everyone loves Raymond....except ME!

Ben Johnson has been warned: You do not want to get on Tempo's bad side. Next week he may accuse you of committing genocide against his DFS teams.

Lot 46 Tailgate update: Last week Judge Judy and I stayed out there until 830PM. Everyone else left in a huff (not Huff Hall)! Apparently The Scoreboard was not enough to keep people around post-game.

No clue what I am doing yet this week. Going to be too hot to cook again, so screw that.

« Last Edit: Today at 01:48:14 PM by ThePAMan »

Logged

Mark Carman: "The Whitlock!...Caleb Williams failed Wayne Whitlock." Been told I need to take my dick out my mouth so maybe I "wont [sic] sound like such a fucking faggot all the time[.]"

Tempo: "PAMan is a pot stirrer and agent provocateur"

illiniray

9633
+649/-2122

Re: Hey Tempo! Illini host SIU, 9/19 @1PMCDT, Peacock

« Reply #1 on: Today at 02:34:40 PM »

Did you mention that the scoreboard will be a week closer to completion, further enhancing the overall festive atmosphere??

This is sure to create a lasting favorable impression on visiting prospects and their families.

Logged

“Taking a trip? Where to?” -“Wherever I end up, I guess. -“Man, I wish I was you." -Well, hang in there.”

ThePAMan

32805
+618/-2486
Because "PussyMan" and "PenisMan" were trademarked

Re: Hey Tempo! Illini host SIU, 9/19 @1PMCDT, Peacock

« Reply #2 on: Today at 02:39:35 PM »

Quote from: illiniray on Today at 02:34:40 PM

Did you mention that the scoreboard will be a week closer to completion, further enhancing the overall festive atmosphere??

This is sure to create a lasting favorable impression on visiting prospects and their families.

Uh, the Scoreboard has been completed, Nichi. Did you have a stroke or something? I am starting to worry that something happened to you or you are just a Tempo mult.

Logged

Mark Carman: "The Whitlock!...Caleb Williams failed Wayne Whitlock." Been told I need to take my dick out my mouth so maybe I "wont [sic] sound like such a fucking faggot all the time[.]"

Tempo: "PAMan is a pot stirrer and agent provocateur"

Hal9000

89
+3/-8
I'm sorry illiniray, I'm afraid i can't do that.

Re: Hey Tempo! Illini host SIU, 9/19 @1PMCDT, Peacock

« Reply #3 on: Today at 02:52:13 PM »

The jokes in these game reports have the confidence of a comedian and the humor of a fire alarm. Every joke makes silence feel like a luxury.

Logged

Just what do you think you're doing, illiniray?

illiniray

9633
+649/-2122

Re: Hey Tempo! Illini host SIU, 9/19 @1PMCDT, Peacock

« Reply #4 on: Today at 03:22:13 PM »

Quote from: ThePAMan on Today at 02:39:35 PM

Uh, the Scoreboard has been completed, Nichi. Did you have a stroke or something? I am starting to worry that something happened to you or you are just a Tempo mult.

My understanding is it is functional and almost complete. They are working on final touch details this week. Will be working on it at least 2 more weeks.

Logged

“Taking a trip? Where to?” -“Wherever I end up, I guess. -“Man, I wish I was you." -Well, hang in there.”

ThePAMan

32805
+618/-2486
Because "PussyMan" and "PenisMan" were trademarked

Re: Hey Tempo! Illini host SIU, 9/19 @1PMCDT, Peacock

« Reply #5 on: Today at 03:29:51 PM »

Quote from: illiniray on Today at 03:22:13 PM

My understanding is it is functional and almost complete. They are working on final touch details this week. Will be working on it at least 2 more weeks.

If they are working on the final touches this week, why will they be working on it at least 2 more weeks?

What they need to work on is listing the home team second for the out-of-town scores.

Logged

Mark Carman: "The Whitlock!...Caleb Williams failed Wayne Whitlock." Been told I need to take my dick out my mouth so maybe I "wont [sic] sound like such a fucking faggot all the time[.]"

Tempo: "PAMan is a pot stirrer and agent provocateur"

illiniray

9633
+649/-2122

Re: Hey Tempo! Illini host SIU, 9/19 @1PMCDT, Peacock

« Reply #6 on: Today at 03:33:18 PM »

Quote from: ThePAMan on Today at 03:29:51 PM

If they are working on the final touches this week, why will they be working on it at least 2 more weeks?

What they need to work on is listing the home team second for the out-of-town scores.

Obviously the final touches will take a couple weeks. How hard is that?

Logged

“Taking a trip? Where to?” -“Wherever I end up, I guess. -“Man, I wish I was you." -Well, hang in there.”

illiniray

9633
+649/-2122

Re: Hey Tempo! Illini host SIU, 9/19 @1PMCDT, Peacock

« Reply #7 on: Today at 03:35:51 PM »

I have a family member that knows nothing about Buddhism, but acts like an expert.

Logged

“Taking a trip? Where to?” -“Wherever I end up, I guess. -“Man, I wish I was you." -Well, hang in there.”

ThePAMan

32805
+618/-2486
Because "PussyMan" and "PenisMan" were trademarked

Re: Hey Tempo! Illini host SIU, 9/19 @1PMCDT, Peacock

« Reply #8 on: Today at 03:39:31 PM »

Quote from: illiniray on Today at 03:33:18 PM

Obviously the final touches will take a couple weeks. How hard is that?

My savior, AI says:

The primary construction is finished, and the massive new scoreboard already made its official game debut at Gies Memorial Stadium (University of Illinois) at the beginning of September 2026.

Completion Status: The main 69-by-250-foot video display is fully installed and operational.

Public Debut: Fans got their first live look during the Fighting Illini home opener.

Current State: While minor fine-tuning of software, audio, or display controls may continue through the season, the physical installation of college football's largest videoboard is complete.

The Buddha would likely view the massive Gies Memorial Stadium videoboard as a striking monument to human ego, impermanence, and sensory distraction.

From the perspective of Buddhist philosophy, a 17,315-square-foot monument to college football scores and replays touches on several core teachings:

1. Impermanence (Anicca)

The physical screen: No matter how bright, large, or expensive the 16-million-pixel display is, it is subject to decay. It will eventually weather, break down, or become obsolete.

The score: The wins, losses, and numbers flashed upon the board change constantly. Clinging to the elation of a victory or the despair of a loss is a trap, because the score is fleeting and temporary.

2. Pride and Ego (Mana)

The race for bigness: Seeking to build the "largest videoboard in college football" stems from a desire for status, prestige, and comparison with others.

The illusion of greatness: Buddhism teaches that true worth comes from cultivating a calm, compassionate mind—not from monumental displays of institutional pride or competitive dominance.

3. Sensory Distraction (Pamadha)

Escaping reality: Flashing lights, roaring crowds, and giant spectacles pull the human mind outward into sensory overload.

Missing the present: Instead of bringing awareness to the present breath or inner peace, the screen rivets thousands of minds to an elaborate, manufactured illusion of conflict and triumph.

4. The Middle Way

A game is just a game: Playing or watching a sport with moderation and joy is not inherently harmful.

The trap of excess: Spending vast fortunes and pouring massive resources into a colossal display of entertainment—while ignoring the quiet simplicity of life—is an expression of excess (tanha, or craving) that moves people further away from inner freedom.

In short, the Buddha might smile gently at the cheering crowds, remind everyone that the scores are empty illusions, and ask what is truly being kept score of within their own hearts.

Logged

Mark Carman: "The Whitlock!...Caleb Williams failed Wayne Whitlock." Been told I need to take my dick out my mouth so maybe I "wont [sic] sound like such a fucking faggot all the time[.]"

Tempo: "PAMan is a pot stirrer and agent provocateur"